Bliss in the Big Apple

Hi Jenny! I am just settling in the apartment. It is just like a scene from any classic New York City film. I am one block east of Central Park. My next door neighbor is the nicest guy. He has two young children and an adorable golden retriever puppy. His wife recently passed and the dog was a gift to the children for a way to remember their mother. He is one of the many sweet men I have met since I moved in!

I tell you, my precious friend, whenever my mind is tottering all the tumult is soothed to quiet by the sight of a creature like this, living in the small daily round of its existence in a state of happy tranquility, getting from one day to the next seeing the leaves fall and thinking nothing but winter is coming. The autumnal leaves are falling all around. You have no idea how wonderful it is to go on the rooftop with my ‘snuggie’ and curl up to read a book. Luckily, Starbucks is only a 30 second walk from my front steps; the grande, extra-hot, triple shot latte makes a perfect companion.

My only hope is that I find friends other than those from work. Speak of the devil, work is getting more and more demanding by the day. I have found myself to have little time to do some fashion sketching on the side. I am thinking about taking time this weekend to just sit down and sketch. It has acted as an important stress reliever in the past, and now that I am finally settled in I think I deserve a little freedom.

Jenny I have to go now. Desperate Housewives is about to come on and The Snowball is sitting on my bed stand just asking to be read. Hopefully I will get to bed before two o'clock this night! Talk with you soon.

My Lucky Encounter

Jenny I have good news. I have experienced my first sign that my future prospects regarding men in the city are looking bright. This past weekend, Sophie, a girl I work with, took me out the local hotspot Butter. The majority of the guys were mediocre, but one caught my eye. He is handsome, and has the perfect amount of brawn and brain. His soft brown hair shapes his face every so lightly and accents his bright green eyes ever so beautifully. I should need the gifts of the greatest poets if I were to describe his expressive gestures, the harmony of his voice and the secret fire in his eyes, to any effect. No, there are no words for the tenderness that was in his entire being, his every expression.

Charlie has been the greatest. After we met at Butter, he called me only two days later! I thought that he would never call. The days were painful. We felt a connection unlike anything I have ever felt. He enjoys reading books about Warren Buffet as well. He is living in the city because he recently got a job at Goldman Sachs. He is a graduate of Wharton. Can you believe how lucky I am? I hope it lasts…

The Leaves are Falling

Jen Jen, I have this feeling that Charlie is already taken. He could simply be a reserved person, right? Only time will tell.

They say to love is only natural, but you must be true to human nature when you love! Oh I hope I am natural around Charlie.

I have to go. Charlie is coming over to discuss the brilliance of literature in telecision and movies. I may show him a couple of my sketches. We will see how the night progresses. Hope all is well with you! P.S. Tell me what you think about my sketches. I did them the other afternoon in Central Park. I was inspired by the autumnal leaves.

A Night Out On The Town

Hey Jenny. How has all been with you, my dearest friend? I sometimes get lonely without you, but the moment solitude comes to find me, I look at the picture of us together on the cruise ship with the beautiful Island of Santorini in the background and warm memories fill my heart. But please do not be alarmed! All is well in the Big Apple. I think I am finally getting the hang of things out here.

They just installed a television on the rooftop next to the overgrown ficas tree. I think that TVs have a place in the apartment, not outdoors. The rooftop is a place of relaxation, a place to cuddle up and read, and gaze at the stars. It is a place to enjoy the scenery, but management decided to put the plasma up on the roof. Although it is present, I have seemed to find the rooftop a wonderful sanctuary. Last Saturday, Charlie and I spent an entire day watching planes fly by, listening to the leaves rustle back and forth, and hearing the wonderful, natural sound of a Taxi Cab’s horn, a true New Yorker staple.

I went out with Charlie again last night. You are not going to believe what we did! He took me to the Metropolitan Opera. Not only were our seats located in the center of the Parterre Level, but the performance of La Rondine was fabulous. It was one of the most memorable moments of my life thus far. Sitting just to our left was Diane von Furstenburg. I was tempted to speak with her about her designs, but I decided it was the wrong place and wrong time. I am still shocked by Charlie. Who knew an entry level worker at Goldman Sachs could be so successful and well connected?

To be perfectly honest, I think I am in love with Charlie. I have never met a man like him before. I think we should take it to the next level. He is the perfect match for me. The heart alone is the source for our happiness. I have found happiness in Charlie.

His Words Belie His Actions

I have terrible news Jenny. Do you remember when I mentioned that Charlie works at Goldman Sachs and that he is there for only a short period? He is set to return to Wharton in Pennsylvania next fall to help a Professor with his research project. He also forgot to mention he has a girlfriend, a very serious one too.

Was I mistaken to think that our discussion about Henry Paulson, Warren Buffet, Obama’s economic plans and our trip to the Met were just displays of friendship? I am disturbed to find he values my mind and abilities more highly than my heart, which is my only source of pride, and indeed of everything, all my strength and pride. It is the source of my drive, my fashion sketches, and future aspirations. The things I know, anyone can know – but my heart is mine and mine alone. I wish Charlie would just realize the importance of my heart to me! He seems to think that my love for him is of no seriousness. What shall I do? My anger towards Charlie is thwarted by his smile of his eyes. Ever time I think of him his sharp green eyes pip up in my head and make me think that our situation can be worked out.

Please, Jenny, give me a sliver of hope! I am in a deep stage of limerance and desperately need to get out. My sketches are worsening by the day. I am no longer finding pleasure in reading as well. Please, recommend something that I will enjoy!

Could My Situation Get Any Worse?

Hey Jen. You are not going to believe who came to live in the City with Charlie...his FIANCE, Kristen. She is beautiful. She not only wears the most amazing clothing, but she is smart, has a wonderful personality, and plays the cello for orchestras all around the world. When we met the first thing that caught my eye was the perfectly simple Jackie-O dress paired with patent leather Mary-Jane Manolo Blahniks. I wanted to die. All three of us ran into one another at Barnes and Noble. I was on my weekly run to the store in my sweat pants and knee-high Uggs. I was looking to purchase How To Breathe Underwater, the book you reccomended to me. Oh, I can only imagine what she thought of me! I was introduced as a “friend”. I wish there was a word less than girlfriend, but stronger than friend. We are lifelong companions, we share a strong connection. If Kristen were out of the picture I am sure that Charlie and I would be engaged to wed! Her moving to New York is not the only bad situation. With the presence of Kristen, Charlie changes his attitude towards me as if I was simply friend. We have a connection, a history. Does that not mean anything? I must go to his apartment and talk about our situation. I cannot live without Charlie. I need his manly body around me. I wanted a companion to read with, and enjoy the nature and simplicity of Central Park. Jenny, I am dying here. What should I do?

Our Lost Touch

I am afraid that I am losing him Jenny, but then his actions prove to be completly opposite. This is how our conversation played out in Central Park the other afternoon:

I said, "Do you see that old couple over there, sitting on the bench?" He nodded yes in reply.

"The kiss those two share is one of everlasting love. They have probably been together through all the rough patches and what not. They love one another, forever and always. Their bodies show it."

The moment my vocal cords stopped vibrating, Charlie laid a kiss on my lips. He said, "I shall kiss you too. His kiss is free of desire, unlike mine.

What shall I do? I am lost in this City. I think I shall take a leave.

My Sketching

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxm99GLqK1E&feature=PlayList&p=1B7431EB3D8077CB&playnext=1&index=43

Check out my sketching!

Is The End In Sight?

I am trying to enjoy myself on my birthday. I was cheered up when Charlie gave me my birthday gift, a two year subscription to the Economist magazine. Charlie was holding one at the club when I met him, which I had often asker him for since then. I have been kissing that magazine a thousand times over, and with every breath I take the memory of those few happy, irrecoverable days returns to me. Life’s blossoms are but an illusion! My love has only grown deeper for Charlie. The impossibility of our future is drawing me closer and closer to him. Oh you would not believe the thoughts that cross my mind. Only if Kristen were not part of the picture…

I see no end to my misery but the grave my dearest Jenny. All signs are pointing to that direction.

Charlie and I have discovered that we share the same favorite poem. Every time I read it, I cry. I can only think of the helpless moth and the role of fate destiny in our lives. I am the one who must go. Charlie and I must end, all the while our love will continue on forever!

Design by Robert Frost

I found a dimpled spider, fat and white,

On a white heal-all, holding up a moth

Like a white piece of rigid satin cloth--

Assorted characters of death and blight

Mixed ready to begin the morning right,

Like the ingredients of a witches' broth--

A snow-drop spider, a flower like a froth,

And dead wings carried like a paper kite.

What had that flower to do with being white,

The wayside blue and innocent heal-all?

What brought the kindred spider to that height,

Then steered the white moth thither in the night?

What but design of darkness to appall?--

If design govern in a thing so small.

My Time Has Arrived

He does not see or feel that he is concocting a poison that will be my destruction and her own; and in ecstacy I drain the goblet he offers me and which spells my downfall. Kristen, Charlie, or I must go, Jenny. It is the only option. Our love will last forever. Charlie and I will always be meant for one another. We will meet again my dear love, we will meet again! Be sure to tell Charlie he is my love. Even when I am gone, we will be together!

I am the one who must go. Farwell my dearest. Enjoy life, take risk, and continue to live to the fullest.

Best Regards,

Kelly Madden